Last night around 5 am dad and I were startled at the sight of blood on the sheets. While I only saw a large patch of pinkish blood - dad noticed darker and calmly told me to go to the bathroom and clean up and he'd take me to the emergency room. I couldn't bring myself to look at the sheets. I would have gone nuts.
We got ready and headed to the nearest ER and luckily - no one was waiting in there. She was asking me what brought me there and as soon as I said, I am pregnant and there is spotting, her mode changed. It was how far long are you - which is 20 weeks to the day actually - and then called upstairs. She said "well that is right on the borderline." I, already shaking and nervous looks over at the dad and gave him the look that said, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT?!"
I get into the wheelchair and wait. I'd never been in a wheelchair. It was sort of relaxing to be pushed around. We, well baby and I, rode upstairs and were greeted by 2 nurses who told me to change - one told me to fill out paperwork - they are very demanding. lol So I changed my clothes and sat in a chair while dad filled out paperwork. The started out by looking for the babies heartbeat.
This seemed to take an hour - the longest hour ever - and no heartbeat. She called in another nurse to try and still, she could not get the heartbeat. They started to look at charts and the nurse was like, "She's only 12 weeks." I was like, YOU ARE A MORON...in my head and then said, "I just went to the doctors and she told me that was my due date, that I was 20 weeks and I just found out I was having a boy!" (dad said i was mean...but seriously, learn how to read the thing!) Another nurse said, "well you haven't been to the Dr's?" Which I snapped and said, "Yes I have." (I mean I get that I look young - and that she was judging me and thinking I was some 18 yr old irresponsible kid - but she had no right to get the attitude....lol Well maybe she had it because I had it.)
So I sit there in a panic thinking about how many people might be happy about this - but it would completely devastate me. Then I started thinking about the fact that it would devastate me and how attached to the little bugger I am. I was thinking about how I didn't take my vitamin last night, and that maybe I didn't drink enough water. About how I killed my baby! Which dad kept telling me that is has nothing to do with what I did. Finally they switched to a Doppler and about 5 minutes later there was the sound. She listened to it and I just tried to memorize it. I was never happier to hear that sound. She told me the rate was 156 - and all my panic went out the window. Only because whenever I've had an ultrasound or listen to at the Dr.'s office, that is exactly where it was. So I started to calm. They hooked me up to a contraction monitor, and dad and I were left in the room. He does a fantastic job of keeping my mind on lighter things...and did a great job at making me laugh. Taking about his kidney stones and all the pain he was in. lol Not that I was happy he was in pain, but his facial expressions were priceless.
Nurse came back in and asked me to pee in a cup - which I did. Which, seriously, someone come up with a better way to do this so it's not so messy! When I wiped there was still a small tingle of blood. I sat back down and an on-staff OB came in to check me out. She explained (how fantastic!) what could be causing it. How sometimes there are polyps that form that can burst or with all the hormones, how blood vessels can break in the cervix, which isn't a "bad" thing. But what she most wanted to check for is that blood wasn't flowing and that it wasn't coming from further up. So I get the exam - and she didn't see any polyps, no flowing blood. YAY! So she said most likely because of the thinning lining of the cervix, i just broke a blood vessel. She just told me to rest this weekend, make an appointment next week to see my Doctor and if I start bleeding again, to get myself up to the hospital again.
They led me back to the chair - and the nurse - a new one - a NICE one - wanted to hear the heartbeat again. So she found it...right away...and just left it there again for about 3 minutes. 3 minutes really does seem like a long time...and said everything sounds great!
We left, I came home, called family to let them know - and then passed out in the chair after eating 2 large bowls of lucky charms. lol I woke up and I had a "dead rabbit" laying next to me. Moomer (my dog) must have put in up there while I was sleeping. He gave me his toy so I would feel better! How cute is he?!
Anyway - I think I learned that whipping yourself into a panic isn't always the best thing....and also...this is from dad...they are there to help me...I need to try and not get an attitude. This is hard for me, at least lately. Otherwise, I am like a breath of fresh air on a cool fall sunshiney morning! lol That is my opinion anyway. lol
