Emotions

Good lord, give me back my nausea! I would take that any day over these fits of rage, sobbing, and lack of self esteem.

For the past few days I have been in a happy mood, then sad, then happy, then I'm fat, then I am crying, then I laugh, then I say I'm ugly and everyone hates me, back to happy, back to no emotion, what-so-ever.

I can't stand it.

Yesterdays conversation with the dad:

Dad: You look like you are kind of poopy.
Me: I do? I don't feel poopy.
Dad: What's the matter?
Me: I don't know. I think I'm bored.
Dad: Oh. You are just quiet.
Me: ::sits on dad's lap and snuggles: : I am in a bad mood but I don't know why.
Dad: Oh, boy.
Me: I feel like I might cry.
Dad: I think I have to go
Me: ::gets misty:: I don't know why I am acting like this!
Dad: I do.
Me: Well I don't want it! I don't want to be pregnant anymore! ::crying:: I don't like crying when there is no reason to cry!
Dad: I think I have to go
(I should mention - he is actually hugging me)
Me: You don't deal well with girl emotions do you?
Dad: What?! I don't know what you are talking about.
Me: ::laughing:: you get all nervous when I cry and stuff
Dad: I have to do, I don't know what you are talking about ::with a smirk::
Me: Why does everyone hate me?
Dad: No one hates you.
Me: Yes they do, no one wants to hang out with me! I don't even want to hang out with me. I am so completely annoying myself right now!
Dad: ::silent but hugging::
Me: Do we have any Tylenol PM I can take so I can just sleep through this period of pregnancy!?
Dad: No.
Me: Whatever. ::goes and gets a tissue because I'm crying again, and my nose is running::
Dad: Just relax and calm down - I will be back later.
Me: ::plops myself on the couch:: I am so bored!!!

So I called my mom to see if she wanted to do a little shopping. This was fine until we hit the 3rd store. I started getting cranky and antsy. And then at the gas station there were 2 teenie boppers screaming and carrying on like to sluts - I mean seriously! Yelling at cars with boys in them telling them they were hot. I get into my car and turned to my mom and yelled: "THIS IS WHY SO MANY DAMN TEENAGERS GET PREGNANT! BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL SLUTS! THEY DRESS LIKE EM' AND ACT LIKE EM". She just stared at me. I thought to myself - who cares and why are you yelling. We head to McDonald's. She gets ice cream and water, and I get a cheeseburger and fry. What do we get...ice cream, 2 waters, cheeseburger and fry. For some reason getting 2 waters really pissed me off!

"Why are we getting another water?!" My mom is like, just take it! I look at the receipt and there are two waters on it. "Why don't people listen!" My mom tried to make some excuse for her. I didn't buy it. And then the girl handed me my bag and mumbled something. Now usually i can't stand it when Fast Food clerks have absolutely NO customer service. But to day, I wanted to pull her through the window! I just yelled," GOSH! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T HAVE CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS!" again, as I drive away I think, Who cares and why are you so upset over it.

It was just a bad day! I got home, and started organizing my bedroom again! It looks a lot better and will look even better when i get the bookshelf I bought out of my car and set up. Right now...it's still a passenger in my car. Because I am not allowed to lift things. Which is just stupid. I want to lift things...I need to lift things. I swear, some parts of pregnancy are just stupid! And I suppose if you are completely lazy, this part works in your favor and you can have a "reason" to be lazy. But I am not a lazy person, far from it. So when I want something done, I do it myself to get it done when I want. I don't like all this...waiting around for someone else to do things for me. It's dumb. AGAIN, a rant on something I need not be ranting about.

Emotions are for the birds.

18 weeks and counting. We have ourselves a little sweet potato! Which is making me think of Thanksgiving food! Exciting things to come: Friday we find out the sex of the baby. That day we also leave for Tennessee! I can't wait to finally have some downtime. To be away from the stress of our families, and just be together taking pictures, and being together. Did I mention that?!

Little Onion.

So this week is my 17th week of the big ol' preggoness. Did you know when I say preggo, it makes me think eggo. Which makes me want to run to the store and get ego waffles and eat them. But then, I think, if I am going to drive to the store, I might as well drive to Bob Evans and get some Strawberry Pancakes. lol Which leads me to my post.

Food. I can't get enough of it. I want to eat all kinds of it. If it's edible and in my view, its quite possible I might eat it. And if it's fake and looks edible, you better let me know! This weekend I ate so much crap, it's unbelievable. I try to eat as healthy as I can, however, I can't stop the cravings. If I want it, I have to have it. And by have to have it, I mean, NOW - in my mouth!

Lets see - I am craving everything from grape flavoring to lettuce! Taquitos to hot pockets. Hot Dogs, Cheeseburgers, Salads, Onion Rings! MY GOD THE ONION RINGS! LOVE THEM! I want some right now! Who is bringing me onion rings. I think about the week and if I have plans for food and plan my meal. Even though I know, when the day comes, I will be in the mood for something completely different! lol Like, I am going to dinner with my good friends on Wednesday! I already know what I am ordering. Chicken Dijon Pasta and ONION RINGS!

I went to the movies - and you know how normal people get popcorn or candy? Well I have come to believe that the rest of the stuff is for when pregnant woman come to the movies. I order onion rings...with gobs of ketchup. lol

However, my munching partner over the past two weeks, the dad, has been very helpful! He's convinced we're having a boy since he is doing all the weight gaining - and well, you can't tell I am even pregnant. lol But this question will be answered on Sept 4th. The shopping will begin and things will be wonderful!

Lunch - yum.

I know people don't care what I eat - but I get excited about food lately! And since I am excited, I am sharing it. So...be jealous.

I am eating Garlic Mushrooms & a Honey BBQ chicken tender salad with ranch dressing from BW3's. It taste somewhat like heaven. I know it's not what heaven tastes like, because I am pretty sure it taste either like Strawberry Pancakes or Cherry Chip Cupcakes!

If you are eating something better let me know. Chances are I will want to eat that too. lol

Apt. #2

Have you ever had to pee so bad that you thought your bladder was going to explode into a million pieces? I have.

Today I decided that since I knew I had to pee in a cup, I would prepare myself and drink a bunch of water prior to going in. However, I started drinking at 1 and finished at 2:45 - I was leaving work at 3:00. By the time 3 hit, I was afraid to stand up from my seat! I thought for sure I was going to pee all over the place. I though happy thoughts and headed home to change and then headed to the doctors.

I arrived at the Dr.'s office at 3:30 - appointment at 3:50 - walked briskly into the building, rode up in the elevator, thinking happy thoughts, and walk up to the counter to check in and she hits me with it. "You're Dr. is about a half hour behind." I just stare at her. Does she not know that I am about to BURST?! I mean how can she not, I am pregnant, all I do is want to pee. Which I hear gets worse the bigger the baby gets. (fantastic)

I sit in my seat...and try to keep myself busy! I email Kate (thank goodness for free wi-fi!), chat with people on facebook, play solitaire...etc.) I swear 45 minutes later, I am finally called. We head to the exam room and the nurse asks me if I left a sample yet. I was like, NO, NO I HAVE NOT! She said, do you think you can?! I laughed and said "I definitely can, I have to go so bad!" She proceeds to tell me that I could have gone prior to being called. That everything I need is out for me to go when I can.

WTF - yes this was going through my head. I held the dang urine for how long?! Needless to say, peeing was refreshing. What wasn't refreshing, was that, there, out in the open, where 4 other pee filled cups. Do you know what I did?! I compared the colors. Mine was almost the same color as someone else's. There was one that was almost green, and she went a lot. I think that she needs some attention. I don't think it's supposed to be green. The other one, I don't remember. Once the greenish pee caught my eye, I made the "blood face" (this is the face you make when you are thinking "that's not right, or ooo i hope that stops bleeding") and left the room. YES, I washed my hands...and I always wipe my cup in case I get pee down the sides. It happens. It's not like it's the neatest process.

While waiting, the intern came in and told me to "unbutton my drawers" so she could listen to the babies heart beat. This woman was so freaking chipper, I swear she was a robot. No normal person is that chipper at 4:50pm. She wore a constant smile on her face. And then she did it. SHE POKED MY ANKLES. I said, 'What are you doing!??". Because I didn't think about it, I was like, why is she looking at my socks?! But then I caught on! I said "Are they swollen?!" She laughed and said "Oh, no, Just checking!"

The little washing machine is still going strong! So cute to hear that. I could feel the interns smile. It was a bit uncomfortable. But I ignored it and listened. She left and I waiting for the doctor and when she got there it was like speed run though of my test results. Everything looked great! She said that next time she sees me we will have an ultrasound! The one where I find out gender! EAAAAAAPPPP! Baby better cooperate or it's grounded for the first week of it's social life. lol

Anyway - It was a good appointment - except for the pee part.