I have very mixed feelings about it. I am excited to find out if this is all really happening. I am nervous about getting the womanly parts all poked and prodded. Which I think if this is really happening, I need to just get used to. From what I hear, they'll be down there a lot. Not to mention front and center when that kid comes shooting out of there.
I have watched more baby shows than I have in my whole life. 16 and Pregnant, TLC baby shows, Special Delivery, etc. I like the 16 and Pregnant, because - well as sad or mean as this may seem, if a 16 year old kid can do this - so can I. lol I have watched someone receiving their epidural. That made me want to vomit, but no one was screaming their heads off or saying it was hurting, so it must not be that bad.
I think that tomorrow when I find out - it's going to change my perspective big time. I am still in the "denial" aspect of this. I know. I quite possible have a prune sized baby inside of me, and I am still in denial. (10 weeks). You'd think that after 10 weeks, I would have some sort of grip - but I don't. Not even close. The thought of being a mother still freaks me out. The thought of how I am going to afford to buy things, freaks me out. I need to just start going to Garage Sales and buying used and painting them to look new.
But of course I can't start buying things until I know for sure and have had the sit down with my mom, my dad, and his parents. Which is going to be lovely. Because over the past week, I have accepted the fact that it's going to be bad. There will be yelling, I will be defending people, and then there's how big of a disappointment I've been. But, yeah, its got to be done. After they've said what they have to say, they'll apologize and hopefully enjoy it and laugh about it. YES laugh about it. So when i say, "remember that time I went on vacation and got knocked up. Wasn't that a gas!?! hahahahahahha" and then they'll join in and we will all laugh together.
a girl can dream, can't she. Until tomorrow....
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