a day.

I woke up and felt sick . I am tired. I am cranky. I feel sick, get up. Lay back down, fall asleep for a bit. Wake up, again. Feel sick, again. Lay back down, again.

I took my dog out for his morning pee and while I was standing there I became oddly aware of the birds around me. There was a Robin in the tree trying to hide from the raindrops that the wind made fall. And then I looked over and a hummingbird was floating next to me. It stayed there for about 30 seconds. Just floating above the bushes. I looked at the window and there was nothing red or brightly colored for it to be attracted to. So I just watched it until it darted away. They sparrows were flying to the ground and then up to the tree again and then the crow started in. It was odd. So while in this normal state - being one with the wet nature that was around me -my mind kicked in

"Who is going to watch my dog when I give birth?"

This is not something I need to be worrying about right now!

All the people that I would trust to watch my dog, I was like, well won't they be at the hospital? For some reason I picture everyone I know at the hospital - I am sure it's not going to be that way. Honestly, when I have thought about being pregnant before (like a few years ago, when I was married) I didn't want anyone there. Not his family (they're psycho - hence the reason of getting the hell out of dodge), not my family, heck I didn't even want him in the room. lol Now, there are KEY people that I want around me.

Why am I still thinking about this...not important right now!

I wish I had pancakes. Those sound good right now. I am not at work, which is feeling great - I might just take the rest of the day off to relax - for once. Go outside - become one with nature again. lol How does one become one with nature? Well I am not getting nude or anything!

"ugh - I don't want to go to the OB-GYN!"