Decision Made.

So after a wonderful chat with friends I have made a few choices. While it feels wonderful to make decisions - it also doesn't change the fact that I am scared out of my mind. (like any normal person is this situation would feel)

I find myself singing "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna. lol " but I've made up my mind, I'm keepin' my baby..."

I am going to have this child - because I know what decisions I can and cannot live with. I know that I couldn't deal with aborting a child, nor could I give the child away after carrying it for 9 months. I can do this!

I have also decided that this weekend I will be telling my parents that I am "possibly" pregnant. lol I know - but I still have the thoughts that maybe the doctor was wrong. There is starting to be a little part of me that hopes I am - just because I am starting to get used to the idea. Not sure if this is a bad feeling or a good feeling. I don't want to be disappointed.

I don't know how I am going to do it, but I am - and I will be ready for what they throw at me, hopefully they are more words and not objects. lol I know they'll be disappointed in me, which just feels awful - but there is nothing I can do about it now.

I feel bad that I won't be telling the dad's mother - because I think they have a right to know - but that is for him to worry about. He wanted to wait until I had my ultrasound - which is in July. I however have another Dr.'s Apt in a few days - and I am hoping they will be able to tell me something then. Some sort of - "Yes, there is a baby in there and Yes, it's alive and well."

I hope I don't chicken out. lol