Secrets...

When you are hiding something as big and a new life from people you care about - it's very hard. At this point I am not eating - the stress is getting to me so bad. Mind you I have those days when I feel normal - where I can not have thoughts - but a majority of the time, you are thinking about it.

I received a call from my step mother claiming that she thought I was pregnant and that I need to come talk to them and not keep it a secret. I immediately called my sister and started yelling at her for telling them! She didn't - they just came to the conclusion on their own - so I denied it with everything I had. I had to reach into my bag of tricks from High School! Which is about how old I feel. Like I am 17 years old and hiding something from my parents - only it was that I was drinking or tried to smoke pot. I denied it on everything I had - and haven't spoke with them since.

I'll just avoid them - I figure it seems like the smart thing to do. (at this time, it seems smart)

But the more I think about how I have to hide pregnancy books, journals, and vitamins in a box next to my bed, the more I feel like I am losing my mind. I probably am.